I had heart surgery....What the heck?

Its the weirdest thing, just over one week ago I was heading into St. Mary's hospital to have open heart surgery. Now I am sitting at home (in MN) on my comfy couch trying to decide if it really happened. I feel great. Yes, I am still a bit sore, tire out easily, and take more pills than (and some of the same pills as) my grandma, but I surely don't feel like I had open heart surgery a week ago. One day I am sending pictures home showing my family how happy I am after finishing up my first shift on my own as an RN. I couldn't in my wildest imaginings have pictured myself on the flip side of things only 5 days later.

After my first official shift on my own as an RN

I have felt ok with this whole heart surgery deal since the beginning...I thought as surgery got closer it would become a bit more real and that I might get a bit scared or something (seeing as I've watched a few surgeries and hated so much about it). However, that never happened and I decided that this would all hit me when I woke up after surgery.....but that never happened either. I am guessing that if it hasn't hit me by now, it never will. Maybe it will all seem a bit more real when I do this all over again in 15 or so years when my valve wears out. 

The night before my big date I decided to celebrate....with trip to Walmart (high class eh?), and dinner at Olive Garden. Ashley was able to get off work and come with us which was super great! Olive Garden was amazing! I had been on a low sodium diet and decided that with surgery being so close, I was willing to risk a few hours of heart failure for delicious bowl (or 2) of soup and lots and lots of salad and bread sticks.

My last dose of antibiotics

Increasing  my movie collection

Olive Garden! Yummy!

That night I received a blessing from my dad and Johnathan Bly. It was comforting to know that everything was going to be ok. I have felt that all along, but it was another great reminder.  I took my pink Hibiclens shower, squirted antibiotic goop up my nose, and talked to my friends and family back home before heading to bed for a few hours.

Fun stuff!

Friday morning came oh so quickly. I took another pink Hibiclens shower, gooped up my nose again, and headed to the hospital for my big date. We got all checked in and they led a whole group of us up to the surgical floor. It was interesting to look around and the group and wonder who in the group was having surgery and for what. Just another reminder that you never know what people are going through in life, even if you think you might. Yeah, I knew that a whole group of us were having surgery that day, but I knew nothing about what kind, what the expected outcome was, how long they had been battling medical issues...etc. It reminded me of a quote I've seen floating around pinterest..."Be kind, everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle" 

They brought us to a room where my beautiful gown was waiting. They even had a nice robe too, to protect the innocent bystanders. A nurse came, asked all the admission questions and took my vital signs. Shortly after that my buddy Tad from the pre-op area came to get me. I said goodbye to my mom, dad, and Ashley and headed off for my big adventure.  When we got to the pre-op area things started to hit me more than they ever had. I got on the stretcher, they covered me up with lots of warm blankets and a 'Bair Hugger' (only heart surgery patients get those while they are still awake! woot woot!).  While I was laying there my heart started to pound pretty hard and it hit me for a second that oh my gosh I am having open heart surgery. Then the ativan they had given me earlier started to kick in and everything was just fine. It wasn't long before they were wheeling me to the OR, 605 if I am remembering right. The anesthesiologist asked me if I was a mormon girl as we were heading out of pre-op. I answered yes and as we pulled into the OR he commented 'This is the place'. Not sure if it was coincidence or not..haha! As I was taken into the OR the experience I'd played out in my head so many times became reality. They took my robe, I moved over to the creepy lil operating table and they got to work taking my BP, strapping me in, prepping my arm for an Art-line, etc. Luckily I still had my PICC line so they didn't even have to poke me while I was awake. I remember them putting the oxygen mask on me and telling me to take nice deep breaths and I remember nothing after that. I have a pretty good idea of what when down though. I went to sleep. They stuck in an Art-line and IV. They intubated me, taped my eyes shut, put in a catheter, scrubbed me up with iodine, covered me with sterile drapes, and proceeded to cut me open and crack my chest. I would be really interested to watch an open heart surgery now. It is everything that happens after they crack me open that makes heart surgery seem so scary, but I slept through it all so maybe that why this will never hit me. 

    After surgery I went straight to the ICU, still sedated and intubated. I was hoping I would have some memory of what it was like to be on a ventilator, but I don't remember anything like that. I've got a few pictures and some video of it though.  I do remember the nurse telling me to hug my pillow and cough and I remember itching like crazy! My mom did a great job at scratching my back, arms, legs, and bum...yup, pretty sure I asked her to scratch it, and she did :) isn't she great? 

Sleeping Beauty (the sleeping part is true)

My happy button!

 I got up to the chair late Friday evening and it felt like I was awake most of the night with nausea and itching. It really wasn't all that bad though, I was expecting to be beyond miserable and most definitely was not. I remember one point in the night, however, when the nausea got super bad and I was on the verge of throwing up. Anticipating the pain of throwing up was probably as miserable as actually throwing up. I was sitting there, ready for the inevitable, when all the sudden my nausea went completely away. It was such a relief and I remember thinking about how many people had told me or my mom that they were praying for me and I believe that that was one of the many instances where I felt those prayers. Saturday morning 

I got up to the chair again and could have left the ICU first thing in the morning if the other floor would have had a bed for me. They did not so I hung out in the ICU, attempted to eat, went on a walk, ditched my art-line, and eventually got to go to another floor. I was feeling pretty good and was able to walk from the ICU to my new room.  Shortly after getting to my new room they came and pulled my chest tubes, which meant they were able to take out the catheter, and I was able to shower!

It always feels amazing to shower in the hospital. Not that the have wonderful showers or anything, but you always feel so gross and grimy and nothing beats that clean feeling a shower can bring.

The rest of my hospital stay was spent going on walks, napping, and watching movies. I could have gone home on Monday if it wasn't for my INR. I will be on coumadin for 3 months and it was taking a long time for it to get to a theraputic level so they kept me in the hospital on IV herparin until they got it all figured out. 

I got to go home on Wednesday which was fantastic. I surely don't feel like I had heart surgery a week ago and don't think many people would believe I did have heart surgery a week ago if they saw me and didn't already know. 

Before and after x-rays

In just a few days I get to head back to Utah and I am super excited. 2 1/2 months off work, Thanksgiving and Christmas off, and a month back home are only a few of the great things that have come from all of this. Not to mention I still have a great job with a whole new perspective and increased empathy for what patients go through.

Who knows what life will bring my way next? Whatever it is, I am sure it is nothing I could even begin to imagine. For now, though, I will just try and recover from life's latest adventure.